Giving Your Life, The Good and The Bad

I personally feel that the third step of AA is also one of the foundations of Christianity. God wants us to turn our will and our lives over to his care so that his will, not ours, will be done. In order for me to do this and complete the third step, I had to forget everything else. I can’t tell you the exact moment it happened, the process of enlightenment was slow and in God’s speed. I did know when it occurred......you see, I had forgotten about my freedom, my ex-girlfriend, and my recovery. My heart was, at one point in time, completely empty. I allowed Jesus to refill my heart with his love and his will. Already I have accomplished things I never dreamed of and I look forward to working on the 4th step.

Few of us would think that we are entirely evil inside and that God needs to replace everything in our heart. This makes the process of giving our lives over difficult, because we think some things in our lives are good. For me, my recovery and ex-girlfriend were good, so why would I give them up? You must, but by doing this you allow God to return to you what is truly good. God did this with me and my recovery and I didn’t even miss a beat. As for the girlfriend, God put a completely different woman in my life. A woman that I respect deeply. God gave me these things. I had completely given up on everything. My life was without direction, but when the time was right God led me back to a pathway of prosperity and happiness. For this I am thankful, I am grateful, and I am completely amazed....

A Prayer Granted by God

My spiritual journey actually began in Alcoholics Anonymous. The program requires a belief in a “higher power as you understand him”. I had only been sober 60 days when I began working the third step of the program which states:

“Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understand him.” AA Handbook page 54

I was having difficulty knowing if I had completed this step. Of course, I had prayed that God would help me turn my will and my life over to Him, but I didn’t feel complete. It was one of those things where I knew it couldn’t be that easy.

Worldly Answers?
I decided to research the topic a little bit. I spoke with my current Alcohol counselor and tried to explain my difficulties. He gave me a couple of suggestions, but no concrete solutions......nothing tangible at least. I called my former drug and alcohol counselor. He and I have more of a friendship now. I asked him about my troubles and all he could do was chuckle. He told me, my troubles were natural and the third step was a big step. In not so many words, he told me it took time and that I would just “know”.

I THOUGHT, I HAD LOST IT ALL.......
Everyday I would pray for God to help me turn my life over to his care. In a period of two weeks, I lost a lot. The first loss, and I thought my biggest, was a girlfriend I cared for deeply. I fought it, hard. I prayed more. Finally, I stood on the bank of a small pond in our city park after an AA meeting. I really had nothing in my life I was proud of......except a 60 day sobriety token/coin from AA. I was in work release, hated my job, felt friendless, and was facing another 9 years in prison. I stood there for awhile with my new AA token and prayed for God’s help. I finished my prayer and tossed my old 30 day token into the water, as if it were some eternal wishing well. The very next day, when the clock struck noon........I LOST IT ALL, including my freedom.